Dump Truck!

In the words of Inigo Montoya, "Let me 'splain. No. There is too much. Let me sum up."

KJ goes to sleep "in little less than half an hour." So here's all that I can put into words for now:

My new job is going really well. (Whatdaya know, that Embassy job came through after all! I didn't expect it to materialize, especially after I was told: "We're extending the application deadline" (after I had already submitted mine, so naturally that might dash my hopes.) Who knew that the person I first talked with on the phone would now be one of my co-workers, a very funny guy, but unfortunately leaving for Ireland at the end of the week. (Good for him, but lousy for us. I'll miss you, John!)

I really look forward to going to work in the morning. I enjoy the people I work with tremendously. The work itself requires attending to everything related to citizenship by way of foreign birth registration. (Irish law states that you can claim citizenship if one of your grandparents is Irish born. I help people through that process. There are about 400 pending applications now. Wow, that's a lot. I know! ) I enjoy the work because every case is a biography and a mystery rolled into one. I like figuring out the puzzles and learning about people.

Some of the perks of the job are tea time, the one hour lunch, chit-chat with office mates, walking down Massachusetts Ave and admiring the architecture on Embassy Row, and of course, all the chocolate that people bring back from various trips around town (i.e. other Embassies, vacations.) As for my ability to donate to the cause (i.e. the perk factor), I'd love to be able to contribute some genuine Hawaiian chocolate covered Macadamia nuts, but I'm hogging the stash my folks brought back from their vacation all for myself! Oh, godfather, do think you could mail me a small box or two to share and make me the office hero of the day? Please? =)

Okay, this is definitely a bit longer than I expected. Sorry. I'm not finished but I am...

Moving on...

I thought that being away from the girls would be more difficult than it has been. But, I can attribute my comfort level in part to the fact that I do get to see them at least some every morning and evening. (It was horrible being away from them for days and weeks at a time while I was working myself into the ground to pay the mortgage. Now, I still work a lot but I physically see, hug, and even smell the rewards daily.) Most importantly, however, during the day, they are both receiving the absolute best child care from their Nana and Grandpa.

I am still doing some pet sitting in the mornings and evenings. I leave at 5:30am and I am back to shower at 7am, get the girls dressed and fed, and leave for the Embassy at 8:15. At night I go out after I have tucked the girls in...I don't want the pet sitting to get in the way of time with them. It makes for some very long days, however, you can imagine. It's weird though, because I was walking for about 5 hours a day for about a month. Now, I eat chocolate and if I'm lucky I walk one hour a day. Not a complaint. Just an observation.

Here's the thing, though...

I made the right decision to stay up north, financially, but not necessarily emotionally. I am having a hard time caring about someone right now. I just don't care. And it's awful. But, there are a lot more pages in this particular chapter and I'm not quite ready to rush to the end. At the end of the chapter, I will have a clearer picture of how this part of the book in my life story will impact the future. For the moment, I just don't care enough to write about it or really talk about it. Not caring has to be worse than caring, though, so it doesn't bode well.

It kind of reminds me of the time I went 6 weeks without speaking to someone I lived with...really 6 whole weeks....total avoidance. It was only upon reflection months later that the other party realized how long it was....earmarked clearly by two visits from out of town guests, so there was no denying the timeline...then there was total shock at the realization of 6 whole mute weeks. Believe me, I felt every minute of every hour of every day of those six weeks and had no trouble at all grasping the length of time at any point.

This episode is different. I just don't care enough to think about it or really worry about it...which is troubling considering how huge the stakes are now. I know it will be easier to go much longer than six weeks without really speaking to this person because now I don't see this person every day. Yet, with each episode, it's hard not to care less and less. (I've lost track of what number episode this is, but it's somewhere around 8 or 9. ) I think that my attitude of indifference definitely means something. I just haven't decided what yet.

In any event...

Yeah, I can have the best intentions of being "brief," but it never works. Glad I got a few words down, though. I should have more pet stories on here...and some Embassy ones as well...but I will close with Caroline's quote of the week:

We were sitting to dinner. Caroline wants more beans and rice. So, I take her plate to the counter to scoop her some beans and rice from the pot, when, she calls to me, "I want my fork Mommy!" I smile and say, "You have a spoon, Caroline." But she just keeps repeating, "Fork! Fork! Fork!" Yeah. She's just under two years old.

It didn't sound like "Fork".